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I Comment on Last Night's Iowa GOP Debate

2011-12-11T09:51:00.015-07:00

Like a lot of my fellow pundits, I've been scratching my head about Mitt Romney's offer to bet Rick Perry $10,000 over a disagreement regarding what exactly Romney wrote in his book. In a debate where one of Romney's chief objectives ostensibly was to draw a contrast between Newt Gingrich's proclivity for irresponsible off-the-cuff remarks versus his own tendency toward care and discretion in word and deed, his unexpected offer to bet Perry (who at this point appears to be an also-ran) the value of a gently used Kia Soul on national TV seems like a serious miscue.

After discussion with my Romney campaign sources (who spoke on condition of anonymity because they are imaginary), it's clear that the $10k bet was a key cog in a deliberate and calculated Romney rebranding strategy. His campaign understands that no concerted effort on a debate stage is needed to contrast Romney's sobriety with Gingrich's bombast. Romney's real challenge is connecting with GOP Primary voters on a personal level to shed the perception that he's a programmed, robotic being. What better way to roughen up the edges of his persona than to wager half a Hyundai Sonata over a clarification that ABC News grudgingly offered at no charge in the debate's postmortem analysis?

Imagine, if you will, that you're an undecided Iowa Republican who's happened upon a Romney campaign event. Upon your arrival, you're serenaded by the dulcet tones of Kenny Rogers or Johnny Cash singing "The Gambler" as Mitt Romney struts across the stage in a Ric Flair-esque manner. I'll bet you four (4) 2001 Daewoo Nubiras that your soul would be stirred. Think about it. Everyone loves gamblers like this guy, that guy, and this other guy. Mitt Romney will never be "the candidate you'd most like to have a beer with," but for those of you looking for "the candidate with whom you'd most like to casually discuss wagering large-while-not-comically-exorbitant sums over facts that are easily ascertained even by the likes of ABC News," Mr. Romney is your candidate. Ring a bell, right up front, no doubt about it.

********

Also, a friendly heads-up to "55-year old" (her words, not mine) Michele Bachmann. She might want to be careful what she wishes for. If there were such a creature as a "Newt Romney," it would currently be polling at greater than 50% with GOP and independent voters across the country. Even if Bachmann were wildly successful in her blatant pandering to all of Herman Cain's supporters, the candidate "Hermele BcCain" would trail "Newt Romney" by 20+ points.

And I'm assuming I need it right away.

2011-11-21T23:28:00.002-07:00

I want one of these. The only real deficiency I see is that it's too sensitive to the calibre of the fruit.

I Grade Jogging First Thing in the Morning vs. Jogging After Work

2011-09-27T22:15:00.003-06:00

Jogging first thing in the morning is better.

I Grade the US Open Participants

2011-09-22T18:01:00.005-06:00

Here are my grades for the US Open participants of 2011, for no particular reason:

WOMEN

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova gets an "A" for eliminating the most annoying player on the women's tour.

Na Li and Petra Kvitova each get an "F" for losing in the first round after winning the French Open and Wimbledon, respectively just months ago.

An "A" goes to Andrea Petkovic for making the quarterfinals on a bad knee, and for being a goof.

Maria Sharapova, a favorite to win the tournament, gets a "D" for bowing out in the third round and for spending time with that guy.

Our friend Serena Williams gets an "A" for her tennis performance, having walked in after playing almost zero tennis in a year and nearly running the table. However, her citizenship grade is a big "U" (Unsatisfactory) for being the kind of person who, as a full-grown adult, would say something like "you're a hater and you're unattractive inside" to another person.

Sam Stosur gets an "A+" and a big trophy for winning it all and because I have her autograph, thanks to Nate. She also gets an Outstanding citizenship grade for tolerating Serena and for wearing a September 11 memorial ribbon (unlike Serena, it seems). Declining to wear a ribbon will get you in trouble every time, Serena.

MEN

My favorite American player Mardy Fish gets an "A-" for a fine effort, just running out of gas in a five-set loss to Tsonga in the Round of 16. The same goes for unseeded Donald Young for by far his best Major performance so far.

The giant American John Isner deserves an "A+" as the lowest-seeded player in the quarterfinals. Great tournament for the big fella.

Andy Roddick's tennis merits an "A" for reaching the quarterfinals after hardly playing tennis all summer. He was another one of the bad kids getting an Unsatisfactory citizenship grade for berating tournament officials for having the audacity to call him out to a court that he didn't deem fit for his feet to tread. Yes the court was bad, and yes, an event as large as the US Open ought to be able to provide playable hard courts for two weeks out of the year (especially considering Wimbledon can do it with grass courts). However, considering New York enjoyed an earthquake, a hurricane, and terrorist threats at Open time, Andy could have cut them some slack, or at least made his complaints privately. I don't care what The Donald says, Andy just doesn't come off as the classiest guy.

All the semifinalists get at least an "A-" for their tennis. Nadal and Federer receive "only" Satisfactory citizenship grades, for a little bit of uncharacteristic public whining about weather delays and (in Roger's case) a "lucky" shot or two by Djokovic.

Really, Rafa deserves an "A" for playing a nice final. He was clearly under some kind of physical duress, seeing how he faded so quickly to an also-injured Djokovic (serving 90-mph first serves) in the fourth set. Novak can go ahead and have an "A+" for running the guantlet that included tricky players like Davydenko and Dolgopolov, then an epic five-set semifinal over Federer before facing Nadal in the final. If anyone knows why the US Open pits seeds 1 vs 3 and 2 vs 4 in the semifinals, rather than the 1-4, 2-3 matchup used in every other tournament known to man, please explain in a comment.

Top Five Fotos - May 16 - Sevilla

2011-06-15T23:33:00.007-06:00

This was our last day. We walked the streets of Sevilla. I think we also saw a pirate exhibit at Archivo de las Indias.

Downtown near the cathedral

Barrio Santa Cruz

Plaza de Espana

Casa de Pilatos

Atop the giant floating waffle. We walked under this the first day and I thought "Where on earth did this come from?" Evidently it had just opened, and was so brand new that we were allowed to tour it gratis.

Top Five Fotos - May 15 - Sevilla

2011-06-12T19:26:00.005-06:00

Sevilla has a nice new church located almost in the middle of a roundabout. It was cool to see a few old friends from long ago. One of those so-called friends asked what happened to my hair. Can you believe it!

The Puente del Alamillo is a short walk from the new church, and was designed by famed architect Santiago Calatrava, who has a really cool website.

Here's one of three not-too-blurry cathedral interior photos that I took for you in about 600 attempts.

La Giralda next to la Catedral de Sevilla. Both have interesting histories, with the cathedral being the third largest church and the largest Gothic cathedral in the world.

Iglesia de San Ildefonso. It's Neoclassical, and was evidently sporting a fresh coat of paint.

Top Five Fotos - May 14 - Cordoba

2011-06-07T20:58:00.004-06:00

We took a day trip out to Cordoba and saw the Mezquita, which is the one place I most wanted to see on the trip. On the train ride from Sevilla to Cordoba, we enjoyed listening to a lively but cordial dispute regarding the merits of buying a ticket if you are going to ride on a train.

Here are a few of the the trademark candy cane arches in the Mezquita.

I remember thinking I was being a pretty good photographer when I took this one. Evidently, I need some photography lessons.

"Roman" bridge over the Guadalquivir south of the Mezquita.

We were in Cordoba during the annual patio festival, and a lot of flowers were out.

Lots of picturesque little streets in this town

Top Five Fotos - May 13 - Cadiz

2011-06-06T21:51:00.007-06:00

On Friday the 13th, we fittingly took a day trip from Sevilla to the strange and beautiful and ancient city of Cadiz. K and J especially enjoyed downloading carefully into the spooky crypt under the cathedral. We purchased some clementines from the big central open air market, and ate them on a bench in the blazing sun.

Cadiz has much better sand than Nerja. Ring a bell, right up front, no doubt about it.

I don't know what this is, but I like the fishing boats in the background!

A rare shot of the magic happening.

Parque Genoves has ornamental plant species from all over the world...

...and evidently the occasional pterosaur of the Late Jurassic and Cretaceous!

Top Five Fotos - May 12 - Sevilla

2011-06-05T22:11:00.005-06:00

We took a train from Granada to our last major stop - Sevilla. It was a thrill to be back in the great city where I spent my first four months and last four months as a missionary. That afternoon we toured the Real Alcazar and its gardens, wandered around to the Guadalquivir River and saw the Torre del Oro (which is dodecagonal, evidently) and Plaza de Toros. Some little bugs attacked us (one of us more than the other two) for a few minutes, but we persevered.

After sitting on a narrow street studying maps for about five minutes and almost giving up, we finally found Sevilla's Museo de Bellas Artes within 100 metres of where we sat. The museum included a room with about a dozen giant saintly paintings by Murillo. Admission was free at the moment we entered, and worth every euro.

Real Alcazar

Real Alcazar backyard

The cathedral's belltower/minaret, with orange trees in the foreground.

Torre del Oro

Rio Guadalquivir / Puente de Isabel II

Top Five Fotos - May 11 - Granada

2011-06-02T22:01:00.003-06:00

We visited the Alhambra.

This might be my favorite view in the world.

I liked the view from up there, evidently.

Top Five Fotos - May 10 - Granada

2011-06-01T21:40:00.003-06:00

We took a bus from Malaga to Granada and started seeing some sites. There are a lot of pretty content-looking hobos and/or hippies there. We had lunch at an outdoor cafe across from the Cathedral, where the city sweeper truck passed about 10 feet from us three times as we ate. Karen stiff-armed a gypsy fortune teller quite efficiently. I about broke my ankle trying to follow her lead.

Of the cathedrals we visited, Granada's had the brightest interior. So here's a rare not-too-blurry photo from inside a cathedral.

We rather enjoyed strolling up and down Carrera del Darro, where pedestrians evidently are supposed to throw themselves in the river anytime a car comes up the road.

We wandered into this old estate with a view of the Alhambra.

No Title.

This was our first paella experience, and it was a pretty good one.

Top Five Fotos - May 9 - Nerja

2011-05-31T22:14:00.007-06:00

We took a bus from Malaga out to Nerja, where there is an occasional view of the Mediterranean.

Karen and Alfonso XII are not on speaking terms, evidently.

We passed a fair amount of time sitting on benches eating food (what else, right?) in unpleasant settings such as this.

For Dadso and Dulcinea!

I like how the stones are arranged on this little backstreet.

Top Five Fotos - May 8 - Malaga

2011-05-30T21:52:00.006-06:00

We were in Malaga on Sunday May 8. We saw some more sites around town.

Church

Beach

Centro de Arte Contemporaneo de Malaga

Museo Picasso Malaga. Mr. Pablo Ruiz Picasso was born in Malaga, as was Mr. Jose Antonio Dominguez Banderas.

El Cenachero. Evidently, Malaga is (or was) a sister city of Mobile, AL, where there is a replica of this statue.

Top Five Fotos - May 7 - Madrid to Malaga

2011-05-29T17:22:00.006-06:00

On May 7 we caught the fast AVE train from Malaga to Madrid and traveled from the middle of Spain to the south coast in about 2.5 hours. This was after we were assisted by some helpful vagrant in finding some cold churros under saran wrap at a bar because the famous churro and chocolate store's "Open All Day" schedule evidently doesn't include the part of the day prior to 9AM.

We saw some fun stuff in Malaga, like the Cathedral, great views from the Gibralfaro, the Alcazaba, and Picasso's birthplace. Everyone tried some chorizo.

All Aboard!

Sending some postcards from Malaga.

Malaga's Cathedral

The best views of Malaga are from the Gibralfaro.

I call this one "The K and J dynamic."

Top Five Fotos - May 6 - Madrid

2011-05-22T20:15:00.004-06:00

On May 6 we spent most of the day in museums, including the Prado, the Reina Sofia, and the Thyssen-Bornemisza. Photography wasn't permitted for the most part. We saw Las Meninas by Velasquez, Guernica by Picasso, and a bunch of landscapey types of paintings that the girls liked. It was a great day, but not a huge day for photos.

On Agent Bauer's orders, K and J ready their COM units prior to entering El Prado (or the wind was messin' with their hair).

Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofia

Solving one of Picasso's puzzles

For whatever reason, a lot of my photos turned out like this after leaving the modern art museum

Evidently, this Santiago Bernabeu fellow is to Madrid as LaVell Edwards is to Provo

Top Five Fotos - May 5 - Madrid

2011-05-21T14:37:00.030-06:00

Karen and Jen and I visited Spain this month. During the trip, I evidently (link to article containing one of my favorite uses ever of the word "evidently") took an average of about 100 photos per day on my deluxe 5-megapixel compact camera that sometimes also works as a phone, assuming the cooperation of a good WiFi signal and Skype at $0.02-$0.03 per minute. I'm thinking this will be the first in a series of posts showing the top five photos of each day, as voted on by me. I reserve the right to change out photos periodically, or to just stop posting if y'all don't give me multiple positive comments.

Arrival at Madrid Barajas Airport (MAD) approx. 7AM May 5. It has some nice architectural features - especially for an airport.

Parque del Buen Retiro

LDS Temple

Again

Madrid Open at the venue called "La Caja Magica." Fortunately, we were scheduled to see world No. 1 and Spanish Folk Hero Rafael Nadal vs. Juan Martin del Potro in one of the matches. Unfortunately, delPo forfeited due to injury. We instead saw Brazilian Thomaz Bellucci defeat Andy Murray of Scotland, followed by Spaniard David Ferrer beating Ukrainian Sergiy Stakhovsky. Acoustically, the center court was amazingly isolated from the rest of the facility. The seating system was strange (one area has the odd-numbered seats of a section, while the evens are in some other galaxy entirely). I observed that Madrilenos evidently don't learn about assigned seating in school.

Mascot Conspiracy Watch

2011-01-30T18:30:00.002-07:00

Is it just me, or is Greendale Community College's "Human Being" just the sickly little brother of the Washington Wizards' "G-Man?"

Also, do you agree that "Washingtron" is the funniest way to misspell "Washington?"

Proposed amendment to the baseball constitution

2010-10-27T21:04:00.014-06:00

"The pitcher shall be clean shaven."

Seriously. These unwieldy beards the Giants pitchers are wearing give them an unfair advantage.

Q: What two things do the following gentlemen have in common?

Abraham Lincoln

Chuck Norris

Gandalf

Two thirds of ZZ Top

Porter Rockwell

Zeus

A: (1) They all have very obvious beards, and (2) They all have post-season earned-run averages under 2.00.

Coincidence? I submit you you that it is NOT!

Something to look forward to...

2010-08-18T20:54:00.005-06:00

On the other hand, say I just passed 11th grade by the skin of my teeth. Not sure I'd be too pleased with the above fortune.

Karen!

2010-07-18T12:41:00.003-06:00

Looks like I beat you by nearly a second.

Cool dude

2010-07-17T14:40:00.000-06:00

In honor of the latest Jazz acquisition...

2010-07-14T22:09:00.001-06:00

A pretty sweet reader comment from the deseret news:

Fedor | 8:33 p.m. July 14, 2010

To the KOC and my Hero Coach Jerry Sloan....I will never doubt you again. Yes I let thing or two get me down about team last two weeks...but you have restore the faith!!! To D-Will.....Stockton never publicly doubt team or management. If you want the statue you need to learn to be patient and know that this team, our UTAH JAZZ will always compete...even with the limit of resource we have!!! I like these piece of puzzle....it is now the great week to be the fan of Utah Jazz. I will never doubt again!!!! Go Jazz!!! Take that young Wesley Matthews!!!! One year does not make the career...thank you to KOC for not matching. Get your Matthews # 6 jerseys at the store for 99 cents!!!! GO JAZZ!!!! IT'S OUR YEAR!!!!

Sour grapes? Perhaps, but...

2010-06-18T07:05:00.003-06:00

...come on, Utah! Do you not own a single iron?

It would be a shame indeed...

2010-05-29T11:15:00.005-06:00

...if May ended without a post, so here are some photos from our trip to help/watch Mark and Mary move to Omaha.

Figure 1: Nebraska is a long state with many Cabela's

stores.

Figure 2: Alli loves moving. She loves pretty much

everything, it seems.

Figure 3: Mark and Dad love the zoo - mostly because of

the pelicans and flamingos.

Figure 4: Creighton has a nice campus. I

think they're affiliated with Gryffindor.

Figure 5: The road to Omaha is long, but it's worth the trip.

So I was like

2010-03-09T21:53:00.002-07:00

who on earth is Justin Bieber? And then I asked wikipedia. And then I had a good laugh because his wikipedia entry has a section entitled "Early life," which in his case should pretty much cover it.

This is what happens

2010-03-03T22:00:00.005-07:00

when one team mistakenly believes that the object of the game is to finish with exactly 24 points, then realizes eleven minutes later that the object is to finish with the most points.

A reader suggested

2010-03-02T20:43:00.003-07:00

that I post something about the closing ceremonies - presumably the closing ceremonies of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games held in Vancouver, British Columbia. British Columbia is in Canada, and Bob Costas informed me during the opening ceremonies that Queen Elizabeth II is in charge of Canada.

I didn't watch the closing ceremonies, but I heard they were the worst ever. I also heard that Nickelback performed during the closing ceremonies. I think Nickelback is one of the worst bands ever. And that's all I have to say about that, as Forrest Gump might say.

Iron Chef Sanpete

2010-01-12T20:36:00.014-07:00

The secret ingredient upon which our chefs will base their succulent variations is...

SUGAAAAAAAR!

We attempted to make Grandpa's homemade candy chews twice over the holidays. On Christmas Eve, we learned that if you cook the mixture of regular sugar plus liquid sugar plus evaporated milk to 252 deg F (at that particular location on the planet and under the prevailing atmospheric conditions of 12/24/09), it will turn out with the consistency of this and will be darn near impossible to pull.

On New Years Eve, we tried 240 deg, resulting in something that looks sort of like this.

For some reason the experience reminded me of this talk. Next year we'll try to find a happy medium.

So to all you great cooks out there, keep doing what you do. But ask yourself this:

Are you ready for a throwdown that will probably pull the skin off of your fingers?

Until next time, I bid you good eating (or bleeding, as the case may be).

Lost....

2009-12-03T18:22:00.009-07:00

... in the brouhaha of Max Hall hating his rival, Utah losing to their rival, and Utah State wishing someone would consider them a rival, was the fact that former Cougar Footballer Ben Cahoon pretty much owns the Canadian Football League. I'm not sure whether that is a good or a bad thing.

Interestingly enough, Canada.com reports football stories in the entertainment/books section of their website. Special thanks go out to loyal reader Nate, of Doha Qatar, who was no doubt perusing Canadian book reviews when he stumbled upon this story and suggested it for the blog.

Nice win for the Aggies by the way. BYU had been looking like a pretty good team this year.

Also, if you thought this was a post about the television program Lost, well I guess I got you this time.

Bridges to somewhere (probably Cheyenne)

2009-11-23T11:16:00.008-07:00

Here are a few photographs of some bridge projects we've worked on this year.

No Way

2009-11-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705345722/New-Moon-doesnt-shine-that-brightly.html

Photo

2009-11-08T12:03:00.003-07:00

Here's a photo of Nurse Jen (who knew Lacoste made scrubs?) with my favorite niece, as la Primera Presidencia looks on.

Memories

2009-10-29T08:02:00.002-06:00

Tonight's matchup of Pedro vs the Yankees causes me to recollect simpler times, when Don Zimmer was under 75, and the Red Sox were marginally likable.

Photo of the Day

2009-10-28T22:12:00.003-06:00

Click!

Passwords

2009-10-27T00:46:00.001-06:00

This is where I post all of my online account passwords.

Stay tuned for more...

Post

2009-10-27T00:12:00.003-06:00

This is post 1 of version 2.